http://bit.ly/2Y4k6eu 1. Don’t give them ammunition. Narcissists need to feel superior. Anything you share with narcissists may eventually be used to humiliate or manipulate you. 2. Don’t take them at face value. Image is everything to narcissists. Narcissists lie easily and often seem entirely convinced of even their most preposterous lies. 3. Don’t try to…
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/07/13/church-considers-psychometric-tests-experts-raise-fears-clergy/ The Church of England could administer personality tests for trainee priests amid fears it appoints too many narcissists. The Church is examining ways to analyse the personalities of new priests to in an effort to understand the types of people it is attracting. New tests set to be considered by bishops next year could…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201807/5-ways-narcissists-compensate-their-inferiority “How dare her tell me I’m wrong – she’s a nobody!” ― Anonymous An easy way to spot a narcissist’s fragile ego is to observe the way with which he or she reacts to criticism, even when such comments are offered diplomatically, reasonably, and constructively. Most mature adults are able to take fair criticisms…
https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/7/19/17518086/selfie-will-storr-book-psychology-west That’s a great question, and the answer is both yes and no. In the book, I argue that the West is basically an individualist culture, and that causes us all sorts of problems. On the one hand, putting all the focus on the individual as the locus of success can be a good thing…
https://qz.com/1307380/yoga-and-meditation-boost-your-ego-say-psychology-researchers/ These findings suggest that spiritual Buddhist practices like yoga and meditation may not do what proponents typically say they do, according to the study authors. “Ego-quieting is a central element of yoga philosophy and Buddhism alike. That element, and its presumed implications, require serious rethinking,” they write. “Moreover, ego-quieting is often called upon to…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201802/3-core-facets-narcissism-malignant-adaptive That ironic tendency of narcissism to become a topic demanding constant attention was aptly summarized by Zlatan Krizan and Anne Herlache of Iowa State University, who note in the opening of their 2018 study that “the narcissistic personality stubbornly persists in puzzling psychologists attempting to understand it, all the while perplexing clinicians attempting to…
It's not the affair that bothers me. It's the cover-up and the entire system within it. Donald Trump, a Playboy Model, and a System for Concealing Infidelity https://t.co/Whxxsmz9Pz — Clay Jones (@claytoonz) February 17, 2018 McDougal ended the relationship in April, 2007, after nine months. According to Crawford, the breakup was prompted in part by…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/201802/are-you-target-blame-narcissist Here’s a few tips for dealing with them and getting out of their cross-hairs: 1. Don’t diss the narcissist! While it’s very tempting to insult narcissists right back and tell them how stupid they are and what losers they really are, this doesn’t help. Surprisingly, they can’t handle that and will typically escalate their…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-resilience/201801/why-entitled-people-will-disregard-rules-others-follow For this study, this, researchers Emily Zitek and Alexander Jordan first pointed out in this summary (link is external)that previous studies found that “entitled” people—technically, individuals with a higher sense of entitlement – are more likely to believe they deserve preferences and resources that others don’t. And, that they are also less concerned about…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-resilience/201801/why-entitled-people-will-disregard-rules-others-follow For this study, this, researchers Emily Zitek and Alexander Jordan first pointed out in this summary (link is external)that previous studies found that “entitled” people—technically, individuals with a higher sense of entitlement – are more likely to believe they deserve preferences and resources that others don’t. And, that they are also less concerned about…
Sam is a psychotherapist and the lead support worker for the Auckland Central area. He conducts one-on-one therapy and also facilitates support groups.
With a Post Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy and a nearly complete Master of Psychotherapy, Sam is well-tooled to guide individuals towards their health and well-being goals. Through his training placements at a men’s prison and now at Better Blokes, Sam understands the unique needs of men and the present environment that men are finding difficult to navigate. Sam also brings extensive experience from several years of youth counselling.
Dave founded Better Blokes over 15 years ago now and has a passion for supporting men healing from Trauma. Dave is the West Auckland area coordinator and a peer support worker. He also sits on the Better Blokes Board. He is a long-term resident of West Auckland and is married with 5 adult children and 5 grandchildren.
Dave is a qualified builder and has also trained as a teacher, body therapist, grief facilitator and peer support worker. Dave is also a keen sportsman; having been a provincial rugby representative and gaining honours in both Taekwondo and endurance running. Some of his other interests include; prayer and meditation, connecting with cultures other than his own and walking.
In his work Dave has found as he is able to offer identification and acceptance of others’ pain, he too is able to heal from his own pain. Dave values commitment and loyalty and is learning to leave space for God as decisions and life guidance occur.
As Dave helps men to heal from trauma he is hopeful of creating a more loving and peaceful nation of Aotearoa New Zealand and connecting with other likeminded individuals and organisations around the world.
Poutoa is a father and great grandfather born in Samoa but raised in New Zealand. He facilitates 3 support groups and also one to one support sessions in the South Auckland area. He has been with Better Blokes for 6 years. He also works for the Salvation Army where he facilitates a prison group.
Pou has found over his years with Better Blokes that while he does the work for the benefit of his men, he also gains as much from mahi as do the men – it’s a two way process almost like self-therapy. Outside of Better Blokes Pou enjoys spending time with family, sports, faith, camping and personal exercise. Pou is hoping to do some more travel in the next few years too, possibly to Israel and the U.S. One of the values that Pou holds dear is the mana that every person holds, regardless of their behaviours. Because of this, everybody deserves respect, love and compassion. Pou describes himself as an empathetic, understanding person created in the image of God.
Beyond her professional endeavours, Jenny finds joy and fulfilment in various activites that enrich her life. Whether she is immersed in a captivating book, enjoying quality time with friends, or exploring the great outdoors on horseback, Jenny embraces every opportunity to cultivate her passions and nurture her well-being. Looking ahead, Jenny envisions a future where she can continue her meaningful work at Better Blokes and transition away from the confines of corporate life to pursue a career that aligns more closely with her values and aspirations.
At the core of Jenny’s identity are the values of respect, kindness, and curiousity, which guide her interactions and shape her worldview, She firmly believes that even the smallest acts of kindness or positive change have the potential to catalyse greater transformation in individuals and communities alike. Jenny’s personality is characterised by a quiet strength, thoughtful demeanour, and unwavering loyalty to those she cares about, making her a valuable asset to the Better Blokes team and a source of inspiration to those around her.
Patrick first ventured into this line of work by enrolling in Lifeline’s telephone counselling training program, Survivors, which focused on addressing men’s issues through a service called Mensline. He dedicated 4 ½ years to this cause, committing to two evening shifts a month. During his time there, he participated in Essentially Men’s introductory weekend course, leading him to join a men’s group that he remained actively involved in for about 15 years.
Additionally, Patrick pursued further education in the field, completing a paper in Family Systems and a Group Facilitation course with HD&T. About four years ago, he responded to an advertisement from Better Blokes seeking assistance with men’s groups. Since then, he has engaged in various training weekends and week-long programs offered by Better Blokes and Male Survivors Aotearoa. Currently, Patrick is leading support groups and providing one-on-one support to men on the North Shore.
As the general manager at Better Blokes, Simon Johnson has recently dedicated 2.5 years of his life to helping men on their wellbeing journey. With a Post Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, a Bachelor of History, and a Bachelor of Ministries in Practical Theology, Simon is well-equipped to guide individuals towards a path of healing and self-discovery.
In his personal life, Simon finds joy and fulfilment in activities such as sailing and playing the bass. These hobbies serve as a source of relaxation and connection with nature, which aligns with his passion project of starting “Sailing for Wellbeing” – a venture that aims to take people on weekend sailing journeys to promote holistic well-being. When it comes to values, Simon holds honesty, integrity, and truth with grace in high regard.
His decisions are guided by the principle of speaking the truth in love, which reflects his compassionate nature and desire to help others grow and heal. Describing himself as introverted, creative, and successful, Simon embodies these qualities in his work at Better Blokes and in his personal endeavours. His go-to inspirational quote, “The Truth will set you Free – Be True to Yourself and Success will Follow,” emphasises the importance of authenticity and self-awareness in achieving personal growth and success. Simon’s commitment to helping others, his dedication to personal growth, and his passion for sailing and music make him a well-rounded individual with a strong sense of purpose and compassion. Through his work at Better Blokes and his future endeavours, Simon continues to inspire and uplift those around him with his genuine and caring approach to life.
Peter Syke has over 40 years of experience as a community worker in Central and South Auckland, dedicated to supporting vulnerable and marginalised groups and individuals. He has worked with the Anglican Church, ME Family Services for 30 years and currently serves as an independent community activist. Peter holds qualifications in education, social policy, sociology, youth work, liberation theology, business, and regenerative practice.
Peter has been involved with Better Blokes for a couple of years and previously engaged with the South Auckland team during his time at ME Family Services, providing a link for men living with trauma. He currently serves as the Chairperson of the Board for the outgoing Incorporated Society and the new Charitable Trust. His decision to join Better Blokes was driven by a desire to support groups working on the margins that focus on providing support and empowerment for men. Outside of his involvement with Better Blokes, Peter finds joy and fulfilment in being a life member of Mangere East Hawks RL, engaging in community regeneration projects such as tree planting and caring for local parks and environments, and actively supporting his family and grandchildren. Additionally, he has been a candidate for the Green Party in Mangere in the past two elections. The values that are most important to Peter in life include relationships and connection, respect, humility, and diversity.
