Emerge from the cliched cloak of “moving on”

Moving on is a droplet inside a deep well of sadness for someone who lost a loved one during the mosque rampages – or during any other month or decade.

Can we be more specific about our needs? This is a time of grief and reflection for some. For others, this season of love-each-other-multicultural-blah, blah, blah…is getting annoying.

Instead of saying we need to move on, say work is really busy, and I need to focus.

Instead of saying it’s time to move on, say it hurts too much to think about terrorism, and about the fact that next time, it could be me.
Instead of shouting, “Move on!” let me know you’ve had enough of news coverage and you’ll process events (or not) in your own time.
Instead of saying we’ve got other things to think about, own that you’d rather change the subject because mourning is “meh”.

Be honest – if with no one else, with yourself. Be specific. Be brave and self-aware enough to emerge from the cliched cloak of “moving on”.
Western cultures, in general, do a shoddy job with grief. We expect people to return to work days following the death of a loved one.

Mourners get two months, three if they’re lucky, before they’re expected to find a new normal: goodbye, casseroles, farewell flowers, adios, visitors.