Thursday, November 15, 2018
Supporting Men > Psychology > Time to address their own failings in the relationship

Time to address their own failings in the relationship

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201702/be-responsible-your-relationships

If you don’t accept responsibility for your relationships, and you are unhappy in one or more, look to yourself first. It’s very easy to blame someone else for your uncomfortable feelings, so be sure to look at how you may have contributed to whatever is upsetting you at the moment.

All relationships take nurturing and work, and we make this investment for a number of reasons. First, you get what you want by giving it away to those you love. Then it is returned. That nurturing is what keeps the bond strong when you can’t be with one another, at special times or just when you feel the need. Nothing beats seeing and being with those you love, but if you need to connect, knowing you have a strong relationship allows you to get a lot out of a phone call or even a text. Just the fact that those who love you are willing to be supportive and connect with you makes it easier to feel good about your life, and having someone you trust to help you deal with an issue is one of life’s great rewards for working on your relationships.

Relationships also give us a sense of purpose, and that too is a gift. Without feeling like you have a purpose for being here, life can get emotionally uncomfortable, and feeling like you have no purpose can do damage to your self-esteem. Raising a family and being a good family member or friend are great reasons for being alive and moving forward in life. Relationships are also motivational. Anything I do for those I care about seems to go a little easier than the things I do for myself, and the rewards are a sense of inner peace and fulfillment. Really nothing can take the place of wonderful relationships.

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12125151

Peters appears to have no ability to stand back and see how his belligerence and petulance reflects badly on the Coalition.

That inability to take responsibility for his own failings was on display this week in an interview on Newstalk ZB when he – veteran politician of nearly 40 years – blamed a Newshub reporter for the Coalition shambles over its refugee policy two weeks ago. His insults were a bullying attack on a relatively junior reporter.

Her “crime” was to have asked if it was Government policy to double the refugee quota.

It would not have been hard for Peters at the time, or now, to say that that was Labour policy and that Cabinet has not reached a decision yet on refugee quotas.

Instead of blaming others, it is time for him and Ardern to address their own failings in the relationship.