When the priest was asked if he had been abused himself as a child, he said: “When I was a boy I was constantly surrounded by my father and colleagues of my father. Almost without exception, his colleagues were academics and, you know, some of them were pretty strange fellows …. Often, people would stay…
![Talking about female perpetrators does not negate concern[s] about other abuse.](https://betterblokes.org.nz/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/720px_monochrome-child_sad_crying.jpg)
Although acknowledging that “a focus on female perpetration might be sceptically viewed as an attempt to upend a women’s rights agenda focused on male perpetration”, it adds: “Attention to female perpetration need not negate concern[s] about other forms of abuse.” The report found that women and men reported a nearly equal prevalence of non consensual…
In fact, this strange encounter on the lawn was just the beginning of a long period of grooming and emotional manipulation, Cahill said. She didn’t realize until much later that the 12 years of history she had with Shaw was not a relationship ― but sexual abuse. “She stole from my body, my mind and…
The number of recorded sexual offences involving online dating sites and apps has almost doubled in the last four years, police figures suggest.Offences where a dating site was mentioned in a police report increased from 156 in 2015, to 286 last year, according to figures from 23 of the 43 forces in England and Wales….
http://theconversation.com/what-parents-need-to-know-about-the-signs-of-child-sexual-abuse-113559 While children may not disclose sexual abuse, they may show possible indicators. This might include one or more of the following: significant changes in behaviour (such as reverting to soiling or bed wetting, a decline in school performance) sexual behaviour or knowledge about sex that is beyond the child’s age sudden fears or fear of…
https://www.stuff.co.nz/taranaki-daily-news/news/109531418/back-from-the-brink-learning-to-live-after-a-life-of-sexual-abuse That abuse infiltrated every part of Giddy’s being, shaped how she viewed the world and dominated the parenting of her five children. No-one was going to hurt her kids like she had been hurt – she became fixated on keeping them safe. “I’d have to set out all these structures and plans…my girls always had to…
http://toah-nnest.org.nz/get-help/survivors/was-i-assaulted?fbclid=IwAR1QoRasD-KkgcENxD8SU1N9279_989pUZV1kJ0TiRRdwxG1owrdUjh_gr4 Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact. This includes sexual contact made by opportunity (e.g. you were intoxicated and could not say no), coercion, intimidation, threats or the use of force. It is important to remember that sexual assault takes many forms, some of which do not involve penetration. Grabbing someone’s breasts, genitals or…
In Prescription for Love Remi Spicer of Great Lakes Counseling addresses “Beyond 50 Shades of Pain: When the One You Love Was Abused. “With statistics like 1 in 4 females, and 1 in 7 males, reporting a history of childhood sexual abuse, it seems talking about the impact of sexual abuse in couple’s lives makes…
https://t.co/5HbrTiqIV5 via @medical_xpress — MaleSurvivor (@MaleSurvivorORG) October 3, 2018 This has prompted the researchers to advocate for investigation of childhood abuse claims made by people who come forward as adults. “Time alone should not be a bar to hearing evidence about prior sexual assault,” said FIU legal psychologist Deborah Goldfarb, who is a co-author on…
On March 1, 2013 the @washingtonpost published an article about survivors of clergy abuse. Here's the image the newspaper lead with. It represented all survivors.There's no need to forget that anyone can be a victim and anyone a perpetrator. pic.twitter.com/Ja8NqrOQIG — MaleSurvivor (@MaleSurvivorORG) October 4, 2018
Making the jump to become a client himself over a decade ago, Andrew found an affinity for groups and moved into becoming a Peer Support Worker. Fast forward and Andrew has worked with groups in prisons, run workshops for men and now leads support groups and provides one-on-one support to men in South Auckland.
Embracing the rich Polynesian culture in his community, Andrew has taken the opportunity to learn colloquial phrases and perhaps eaten one too many panikeke along the way. He also finds enjoyment in the great outdoors and has earned a reputation as a master picnic maker.
With front-line, leadership and lived experience, Bruce has a well-rounded perspective of the challenges our community faces and is committed to making a positive change. He has worked on withdrawal services, drug and alcohol, mental health support and family trauma programmes, advocating for and delivering quality outcomes for service users.
Bruce works to be a positive role model with humour and compassion, recognising and working with all cultures. He is committed to ongoing professional development and maintaining his extensive network of partnerships with other health providers and agencies throughout Auckland. Bruce leads support groups and provides one-on-one support to men in West Auckland.
Andre leads support groups and provides one-on-one support to men on the North Shore.
He started off as a client of Tautoko Tāne, before working to become a Peer Support Worker himself. Having experienced the service we offer men; he is uniquely placed to offer support and care to others who need it.
Outside of work Andre is a car enthusiast and enjoys spending time with friends and family.
Jenny supports the Better Blokes team in their mahi. With a Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, a Bachelor of Psychology and over 10 years’ experience in public service, she is well equipped to help keep things running smoothly.
Beyond her professional endeavours, Jenny finds joy and fulfilment in various activities that enrich her life. Whether she is immersed in a captivating book, enjoying quality time with friends, or exploring the great outdoors on horseback, Jenny embraces every opportunity to cultivate her passions and nurture her well-being. Looking ahead, Jenny envisions a future where she can continue her meaningful work at Better Blokes and transition away from the confines of corporate life to pursue a career that aligns more closely with her values and aspirations.
Sam is a psychotherapist and the lead support worker for the Auckland Central area. He conducts one-on-one therapy and also facilitates support groups.
With a Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy and a nearly complete Master of Psychotherapy, Sam is well-tooled to guide individuals towards their health and well-being goals. Through his training placements at a men’s prison and now at Better Blokes, Sam understands the unique needs of men and the present environment that men are finding difficult to navigate. Sam also brings extensive experience from several years of youth counselling.
A core tenet of Sam’s values comes from a motto from his high school – to love and to serve. Sam carries this mindset into both his personal life and approach with clients. Sam believes each individual is the expert on themselves and seeks to hold a position within therapy that is alongside the client, helping them to find what they need. His therapeutic approach is unique to each person and he strives to meet people where they are. He seeks to provide a strong relationship and safe environment for people to unpack, understand, process and move forward with their difficulties are.
In his personal life, Sam likes to spend time with friends and family. His hobbies include sports and exercise, gaming, films, cooking and being in nature.
As the general manager at Better Blokes, Simon Johnson has recently dedicated 2.5 years of his life to helping men on their wellbeing journey. With a Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, a Bachelor of History, and a Bachelor of Ministries in Practical Theology, Simon is well-equipped to guide individuals towards a path of healing and self-discovery.
In his personal life, Simon finds joy and fulfilment in activities such as sailing and playing the bass. These hobbies serve as a source of relaxation and connection with nature, which aligns with his passion project of starting “Sailing for Wellbeing” – a venture that aims to take people on weekend sailing journeys to promote holistic well-being. When it comes to values, Simon holds honesty, integrity, and truth with grace in high regard.
His decisions are guided by the principle of speaking the truth in love, which reflects his compassionate nature and desire to help others grow and heal. Describing himself as introverted, creative, and successful, Simon embodies these qualities in his work at Better Blokes and in his personal endeavours. His go-to inspirational quote, “The Truth will set you Free – Be True to Yourself and Success will Follow,” emphasises the importance of authenticity and self-awareness in achieving personal growth and success. Simon’s commitment to helping others, his dedication to personal growth, and his passion for sailing and music make him a well-rounded individual with a strong sense of purpose and compassion. Through his work at Better Blokes and his future endeavours, Simon continues to inspire and uplift those around him with his genuine and caring approach to life.
Poutoa is a father and great grandfather born in Samoa but raised in New Zealand. He facilitates a number of support groups and also one to one support sessions in the South Auckland area. He has been with Better Blokes for 6 years. He also works for the Salvation Army where he facilitates a prison group.
Pou has found over his years with Better Blokes that while he does the work for the benefit of his men, he also gains as much from mahi as do the men – it’s a two way process almost like self-therapy. Outside of Better Blokes Pou enjoys spending time with family, sports, faith, camping and personal exercise. Pou is hoping to do some more travel in the next few years too, possibly to Israel and the U.S. One of the values that Pou holds dear is the mana that every person holds, regardless of their behaviours. Because of this, everybody deserves respect, love and compassion. Pou describes himself as an empathetic, understanding person created in the image of God.
Dave founded Better Blokes over 15 years ago now and has a passion for supporting men healing from Trauma. Dave is the West Auckland area coordinator and a peer support worker. He also sits on the Better Blokes Board. He is a long-term resident of West Auckland and is married with 5 adult children and 5 grandchildren.
Dave is a qualified builder and has also trained as a teacher, body therapist, grief facilitator and peer support worker. Dave is also a keen sportsman; having been a provincial rugby representative and gaining honours in both Taekwondo and endurance running. Some of his other interests include; prayer and meditation, connecting with cultures other than his own and walking.
In his work Dave has found as he is able to offer identification and acceptance of others’ pain, he too is able to heal from his own pain. Dave values commitment and loyalty and is learning to leave space for God as decisions and life guidance occur.
As Dave helps men to heal from trauma he is hopeful of creating a more loving and peaceful nation of Aotearoa New Zealand and connecting with other likeminded individuals and organisations around the world.
Patrick first ventured into this line of work by enrolling in Lifeline’s telephone counselling training program, Survivors, which focused on addressing men’s issues through a service called Mensline. He dedicated 4 ½ years to this cause, committing to two evening shifts a month. During his time there, he participated in Essentially Men’s introductory weekend course, leading him to join a men’s group that he remained actively involved in for about 15 years.
Additionally, Patrick pursued further education in the field, completing a paper in Family Systems and a Group Facilitation course with HD&T. About four years ago, he responded to an advertisement from Better Blokes seeking assistance with men’s groups. Since then, he has engaged in various training weekends and week-long programs offered by Better Blokes and Male Survivors Aotearoa. Currently, Patrick is leading support groups and providing one-on-one support to men on the North Shore.
Peter Syke has over 40 years of experience as a community worker in Central and South Auckland, dedicated to supporting vulnerable and marginalised groups and individuals. He has worked with the Anglican Church, ME Family Services for 30 years and currently serves as an independent community activist. Peter holds qualifications in education, social policy, sociology, youth work, liberation theology, business, and regenerative practice.
Peter has been involved with Better Blokes for a couple of years and previously engaged with the South Auckland team during his time at ME Family Services, providing a link for men living with trauma. He currently serves as the Chairperson of the Board for the outgoing Incorporated Society and the new Charitable Trust. His decision to join Better Blokes was driven by a desire to support groups working on the margins that focus on providing support and empowerment for men. Outside of his involvement with Better Blokes, Peter finds joy and fulfilment in being a life member of Mangere East Hawks RL, engaging in community regeneration projects such as tree planting and caring for local parks and environments, and actively supporting his family and grandchildren. Additionally, he has been a candidate for the Green Party in Mangere in the past two elections. The values that are most important to Peter in life include relationships and connection, respect, humility, and diversity.
