People who were sexually abused as a child were three times more likely than others to try to kill themselves, according to the new study in Psychological Medicine. Childhood abuse increases risk of adult suicide, finds research | Mental health | The Guardian People who experienced sexual, physical or emotional abuse as children are two…
For men who have experienced sexual violence, confusion and uncertainty around intimacy is understandable, if you consider how some people who perpetrate sexual abuse invest considerable time and effort in getting to know a child, to build trust and a sense of intimacy in order to commit sexual abuse. The person committing sexual abuse might…
Oranga Tamariki – Some of the signs Physical signs such as: Unexplained bruises, welts, cuts and abrasions Unexplained fractures or dislocations Burn marks Other signs: No clear explanation for any of the above Behavioural concerns such as emotional withdrawal, aggression or anxiety Developmental delays, changes or signs The child talking about or subtly mentioning things…
Need to talk? We’re here for you. Call freephone: 0508 326 459 Lines are open 24/7, or email us at contact@ot.govt.nz Get in touch if you think a child or young person may be: unsafe or in danger of harm suffering from ill-treatment, abuse or neglect you’re not sure if you should be concerned, and want…
Anger affects survivors of sexual violence How does anger affect survivors of sexual violence? » If survivors always bottle up feelings of anger or turn it in on themselves, it can have negative physical and emotional effects» Physical effects can include digestive problems; high blood pressure; heart and circulation problems; being more sensitive to pain;…
Shame-proneness can develop with early childhood neglect, abuse, or abandonment. Shame Is About Being If you found yourself identifying with questions 6-10, you may struggle with managing shame, associated with confusion about who you are, and your sense of value. In shameful states of mind (Zaslav, 1998), the self is perceived as small, weak, and bad…
Psychological causes might include: Effects of past sexual trauma. Male Sexual Dysfunction (clevelandclinic.org) Sexual dysfunction is any physical or psychological problem that prevents you or your partner from getting sexual satisfaction. Male sexual dysfunction is a common health problem affecting men of all ages, but is more common with increasing age. Treatment can often help…
Safety during sleep is likely compromised in cases of childhood sexual abuse… Sleep Disturbances and Childhood Sexual Abuse | Journal of Pediatric Psychology | Oxford Academic (oup.com) Anthropologic erudition indicates that sleep is naturally restricted to times and places of safety. Safety during sleep is likely compromised in cases of childhood sexual abuse where victimization…
In fact, I have never met a childhood sexual abuse survivor who has not been suicidal. The Connection Between Suicide And Childhood Sexual Abuse | HuffPost Canada Life (huffingtonpost.ca) In my experience, childhood sexual abuse survivors are highly intelligent, deeply sensitive, intuitive, creative and protectors of the innocents. They are also dissociative, prone to self-harm,…
Making the jump to become a client himself over a decade ago, Andrew found an affinity for groups and moved into becoming a Peer Support Worker. Fast forward and Andrew has worked with groups in prisons, run workshops for men and now leads support groups and provides one-on-one support to men in South Auckland.
Embracing the rich Polynesian culture in his community, Andrew has taken the opportunity to learn colloquial phrases and perhaps eaten one too many panikeke along the way. He also finds enjoyment in the great outdoors and has earned a reputation as a master picnic maker.
With front-line, leadership and lived experience, Bruce has a well-rounded perspective of the challenges our community faces and is committed to making a positive change. He has worked on withdrawal services, drug and alcohol, mental health support and family trauma programmes, advocating for and delivering quality outcomes for service users.
Bruce works to be a positive role model with humour and compassion, recognising and working with all cultures. He is committed to ongoing professional development and maintaining his extensive network of partnerships with other health providers and agencies throughout Auckland. Bruce leads support groups and provides one-on-one support to men in West Auckland.
Andre leads support groups and provides one-on-one support to men on the North Shore.
He started off as a client of Tautoko Tāne, before working to become a Peer Support Worker himself. Having experienced the service we offer men; he is uniquely placed to offer support and care to others who need it.
Outside of work Andre is a car enthusiast and enjoys spending time with friends and family.
Jenny supports the Better Blokes team in their mahi. With a Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, a Bachelor of Psychology and over 10 years’ experience in public service, she is well equipped to help keep things running smoothly.
Beyond her professional endeavours, Jenny finds joy and fulfilment in various activities that enrich her life. Whether she is immersed in a captivating book, enjoying quality time with friends, or exploring the great outdoors on horseback, Jenny embraces every opportunity to cultivate her passions and nurture her well-being. Looking ahead, Jenny envisions a future where she can continue her meaningful work at Better Blokes and transition away from the confines of corporate life to pursue a career that aligns more closely with her values and aspirations.
Sam is a psychotherapist and the lead support worker for the Auckland Central area. He conducts one-on-one therapy and also facilitates support groups.
With a Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy and a nearly complete Master of Psychotherapy, Sam is well-tooled to guide individuals towards their health and well-being goals. Through his training placements at a men’s prison and now at Better Blokes, Sam understands the unique needs of men and the present environment that men are finding difficult to navigate. Sam also brings extensive experience from several years of youth counselling.
A core tenet of Sam’s values comes from a motto from his high school – to love and to serve. Sam carries this mindset into both his personal life and approach with clients. Sam believes each individual is the expert on themselves and seeks to hold a position within therapy that is alongside the client, helping them to find what they need. His therapeutic approach is unique to each person and he strives to meet people where they are. He seeks to provide a strong relationship and safe environment for people to unpack, understand, process and move forward with their difficulties are.
In his personal life, Sam likes to spend time with friends and family. His hobbies include sports and exercise, gaming, films, cooking and being in nature.
As the general manager at Better Blokes, Simon Johnson has recently dedicated 2.5 years of his life to helping men on their wellbeing journey. With a Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy, a Bachelor of History, and a Bachelor of Ministries in Practical Theology, Simon is well-equipped to guide individuals towards a path of healing and self-discovery.
In his personal life, Simon finds joy and fulfilment in activities such as sailing and playing the bass. These hobbies serve as a source of relaxation and connection with nature, which aligns with his passion project of starting “Sailing for Wellbeing” – a venture that aims to take people on weekend sailing journeys to promote holistic well-being. When it comes to values, Simon holds honesty, integrity, and truth with grace in high regard.
His decisions are guided by the principle of speaking the truth in love, which reflects his compassionate nature and desire to help others grow and heal. Describing himself as introverted, creative, and successful, Simon embodies these qualities in his work at Better Blokes and in his personal endeavours. His go-to inspirational quote, “The Truth will set you Free – Be True to Yourself and Success will Follow,” emphasises the importance of authenticity and self-awareness in achieving personal growth and success. Simon’s commitment to helping others, his dedication to personal growth, and his passion for sailing and music make him a well-rounded individual with a strong sense of purpose and compassion. Through his work at Better Blokes and his future endeavours, Simon continues to inspire and uplift those around him with his genuine and caring approach to life.
Poutoa is a father and great grandfather born in Samoa but raised in New Zealand. He facilitates a number of support groups and also one to one support sessions in the South Auckland area. He has been with Better Blokes for 6 years. He also works for the Salvation Army where he facilitates a prison group.
Pou has found over his years with Better Blokes that while he does the work for the benefit of his men, he also gains as much from mahi as do the men – it’s a two way process almost like self-therapy. Outside of Better Blokes Pou enjoys spending time with family, sports, faith, camping and personal exercise. Pou is hoping to do some more travel in the next few years too, possibly to Israel and the U.S. One of the values that Pou holds dear is the mana that every person holds, regardless of their behaviours. Because of this, everybody deserves respect, love and compassion. Pou describes himself as an empathetic, understanding person created in the image of God.
Dave founded Better Blokes over 15 years ago now and has a passion for supporting men healing from Trauma. Dave is the West Auckland area coordinator and a peer support worker. He also sits on the Better Blokes Board. He is a long-term resident of West Auckland and is married with 5 adult children and 5 grandchildren.
Dave is a qualified builder and has also trained as a teacher, body therapist, grief facilitator and peer support worker. Dave is also a keen sportsman; having been a provincial rugby representative and gaining honours in both Taekwondo and endurance running. Some of his other interests include; prayer and meditation, connecting with cultures other than his own and walking.
In his work Dave has found as he is able to offer identification and acceptance of others’ pain, he too is able to heal from his own pain. Dave values commitment and loyalty and is learning to leave space for God as decisions and life guidance occur.
As Dave helps men to heal from trauma he is hopeful of creating a more loving and peaceful nation of Aotearoa New Zealand and connecting with other likeminded individuals and organisations around the world.
Patrick first ventured into this line of work by enrolling in Lifeline’s telephone counselling training program, Survivors, which focused on addressing men’s issues through a service called Mensline. He dedicated 4 ½ years to this cause, committing to two evening shifts a month. During his time there, he participated in Essentially Men’s introductory weekend course, leading him to join a men’s group that he remained actively involved in for about 15 years.
Additionally, Patrick pursued further education in the field, completing a paper in Family Systems and a Group Facilitation course with HD&T. About four years ago, he responded to an advertisement from Better Blokes seeking assistance with men’s groups. Since then, he has engaged in various training weekends and week-long programs offered by Better Blokes and Male Survivors Aotearoa. Currently, Patrick is leading support groups and providing one-on-one support to men on the North Shore.
Peter Syke has over 40 years of experience as a community worker in Central and South Auckland, dedicated to supporting vulnerable and marginalised groups and individuals. He has worked with the Anglican Church, ME Family Services for 30 years and currently serves as an independent community activist. Peter holds qualifications in education, social policy, sociology, youth work, liberation theology, business, and regenerative practice.
Peter has been involved with Better Blokes for a couple of years and previously engaged with the South Auckland team during his time at ME Family Services, providing a link for men living with trauma. He currently serves as the Chairperson of the Board for the outgoing Incorporated Society and the new Charitable Trust. His decision to join Better Blokes was driven by a desire to support groups working on the margins that focus on providing support and empowerment for men. Outside of his involvement with Better Blokes, Peter finds joy and fulfilment in being a life member of Mangere East Hawks RL, engaging in community regeneration projects such as tree planting and caring for local parks and environments, and actively supporting his family and grandchildren. Additionally, he has been a candidate for the Green Party in Mangere in the past two elections. The values that are most important to Peter in life include relationships and connection, respect, humility, and diversity.
