Going the extra step of pretending to feel what we think is best for others can be exhausting.
Do You Smile Even When Your Heart Is Breaking? | Psychology Today
Empirical research, however, presents a somewhat different picture of the impact of maintaining an emotional front. Telling one’s romantic partner about one’s feelings is associated with healthy communication and positive effects on the relationship. Conversely, suppressing negative emotions is effortful and can diminish cognitive resources needed to enrich a relationship. It takes considerable effort to sustain masked feelings. In A Little Bitty Tear , Burl Ives describes how hard the pretense can be. “You said you were leaving tomorrow … I had it made up not to make a frown, but a little bitty tear let me down. Spoiled my act as a clown.”
Do You Smile Even When Your Heart Is Breaking? | Psychology Today