My relationship suffered. I forced myself to have sex, but the truth was that even kissing someone was difficult. Sadly, about two months later, my girlfriend and I broke up.
A few weeks after that, I found out that two men had been arrested in relation to my case. But the case was dropped. The police called one morning while I was brushing my teeth and told me there would be no further actions against the men. They said it was because – as in so many cases – it was hard to prove whether or not I had consented to what had happened.
it was hard to prove whether or not I had consented to what had happened.I’m talking about male rape to encourage other victims of sexual abuse to do the same – BBC Three
I was so angry I snapped my toothbrush in half. Knowing those men were still out there was the worst thing about it. One morning on the way to work, I broke down and found myself sobbing in the car. I called my mum and told her I wanted to die. Like many men, I’d thought I didn’t need anyone else’s help. I saw getting therapy as a sign of weakness. But she persuaded me to get counselling.