1. Calm down.
3. You are overreacting.
4. You are too sensitive.
5. Don’t cry.
6. It isn’t personal.
7. Don’t take it so seriously.
8. Someone’s life is worse than yours.
All of the above comments are invalidating and make you feel even more upset. There is nothing calming about being told that you should calm down. And, frankly, most things are personal, right? None of the above comments are helpful. I suggest that just listening is a much better alternative to any of the above statements. Are you with me here?
And how about the following three comments?
9. It was meant to be.
10. Everything happens for a reason.
11. He (insert appropriate pronoun) is in a better place.
Honestly? Someone has just experienced a loss or a very stressful life event and you are making light of it. Again, listening to their grief and letting them talk is a much better alternative than one of the above attempts to make things better.
13. It must be hormonal.
14. When I was your age.
15. Good luck with that.
The above 4 comments also don’t hit anyone’s sweet spot. They are dismissive of personal experiences and, of course, feelings.They are equivalent to saying “Your personal experience is not that meaningful, interesting, or relevant.” Ouch.
16. With all due respect. This is a particularly annoying one because what follows is often simply a statement of disagreement and makes most of us sigh as we wait for the next comment. Yes?
17. I’ll get back to you. Ugh. Sometimes the person will get back to you. In too many cases, it simply means that you are not a priority.
And, how about this one?
18. How does that make you feel? Totally boring comment. If you are paying attention, you will know exactly how the other person feels.