Marriage is one of the great milestones of a fulfilling life. However, just as it can all come together in one glorious moment it can fall apart catastrophically. Couples seeking counseling, mediation, divorce, and other services are on the rise. And family law experts like jennifer croker are constantly being called for advice and consultation on marriages that have broken down before they have had time to prosper.
Love can be a wonderful thing but it is not worth going too fast and ignoring the red flags for. Being able to recognize when you and your partner are ready for marriage is a critical skill. Without it, a marriage that does not last longer than the time it took to plan it is very likely to happen.
Does your partner cancel plans with you when something better comes up with his buddies? Do they pick up a non-urgent work call while you two are out to dinner celebrating your birthday? If so, it might be a sign that your partner isn’t prioritizing you and your relationship.
Instead of having a productive conversation about a tricky topic ― like sex, family issues or money ― does your partner either argue with you about it or avoid the discussion altogether?
It’s been said time and time again, but communication really is the cornerstone of a strong marriage. If you can’t talk candidly about the tough stuff, you might not be ready for marriage quite yet.
“While I disagree with the saying, ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater,’ there are always some significant mindset and behavior changes necessary to prevent this behavior from repeating,” Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men, told HuffPost. “These new changes should be proven before getting married.”
“Addictions aren’t easily or quickly resolved,” Smith told HuffPost. “It would be a big mistake for a partner to think they’ll be able to change this problem behavior about their future spouse. I can’t tell you how many spouses I’ve counseled who overlooked this in the beginning because they thought it wouldn’t be that bad.”
“Lying to your partner about whether you have broken an agreement does more damage than breaking the agreement,” Tessina told HuffPost. “If you slip up, tell the truth. If it’s your partner who has slipped, be open to listening to him or her without blaming or getting upset, so the two of you can negotiate a solution to the problem.”