Don’t Get Married Yet If…

Does your partner cancel plans with you when something better comes up with his buddies? Or maybe she picks up a non-urgent work call while you two are out to dinner celebrating your birthday. If so, it might be a sign that your partner isn’t prioritizing you and your relationship.

Instead of having a productive conversation about a tricky topic ― like sex, family issues or money ― your partner either argues with you about it or just avoids the discussion altogether. It’s been said time and time again, but communication really is the cornerstone of a strong marriage. If you can’t talk candidly about the tough stuff, you might not be ready for marriage quite yet.

“While I disagree with the saying, ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater,’ there are always some significant mindset and behavior changes necessary to prevent this behavior from repeating,“ Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men, told HuffPost. “These new changes should be proven before getting married.”

“Addictions aren’t easily or quickly resolved,” Smith told HuffPost. “It would be a big mistake for a partner to think they’ll be able to change this problem behavior about their future spouse. I can’t tell you how many spouses I’ve counseled who overlooked this in the beginning because they thought it wouldn’t be that bad.”

“Lying to your partner about whether you have broken an agreement does more damage than breaking the agreement,” Tessina told HuffPost. “If you slip up, tell the truth. If it’s your partner who has slipped, be open to listening to him or her without blaming or getting upset, so the two of you can negotiate a solution to the problem.”