5 Ways We Justify Negative Self-Talk


1. I’m just being honest with myself. Indeed you should be. In fact, it’s always important to explore what mistakes you might have made, to be accountable for your errors, to take responsibility, to understand what went wrong, to figure out what you need to avoid or do differently next time—and being honest with yourself in that way is important and valuable.

However—calling yourself names in the process of self-examination, putting yourself down, treating yourself dismissively and punitively, adds no value whatsoever. Worse, it significantly impairs your ability to learn the necessary lessons you could extract from such experiences.

3. It will prepare me for future disappointment or hurt. Nope, it will just set you up to make more mistakes and have more hurt because you’re undercutting your confidence, supersizing your insecurities, and sabotaging your motivation and determination.