Radical honesty works for singles, too. Imagine how many people you’d weed out if you told them right off the bat that you don’t want kids or that you have a five-year game plan to move out of the state and settle down.
If you are coupled up, though, take it slow with the honesty. Tell your partner you plan to be more candid moving forward; don’t just let it slip that you hate going to your in-laws for the holidays.
And, lastly, recognize that not every relationship can withstand the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
“The idea of this often scares the hell out of folks, because of the fear of the pain that may be involved or a breakup. And, yes, both of these are possible,” Shadburne said. “But being willing to feel your way through pain together is the cost of admission to real love and intimacy.”
And sometimes radical honesty shows you that you and your partner are better off apart, like it did for Allie Stark.
“We were together three years and lived together for two,” she said. “The reasons for ending our relationship had absolutely nothing to do with the fleeting feelings that I had for this other man, and, really, I think radical honesty is what supported both of us in following our own hearts and moving in the direction that was best for both of us.”