Clearwater told the audience how being abused fuelled his rage as a young man.
As a teenager Clearwater was expelled from his school in Christchurch after beating up a teacher and school prefect.
He was later arrested for assaulting a police officer. He lost his job at a meat works after hitting another employee in the face, following a confrontation.
“Violence kept going on in my head.”
Clearwater said he finally understood he needed help following a verbal confrontation when playing a game of pool.
He said his childhood abuse took him into a “place of self-destruction”.
“I went home and I got into bed and I started crying. I got into the foetal position and I cried and I thought there is something wrong with me.”