She held on to what felt like a “dirty little” secret for decades

“I have been dealing with this for a very long time. It has been in my mind for … years but I kept it hidden from my family, particularly my parents…

“I didn’t want them to feel any shame or be upset because I hid what always felt like a dirty little secret from them and my siblings for so long,” she said.

”What was really frightening and scary for me was that it had always been the back of my mind there might be other children out there who had also been abused by Ngahau. Sadly my fear proved right.”

“I’m not a vindictive person so I understand the court had to give Ngahau discounts for his guilty pleas, his age and health, but it was very important to see him brought to justice for what he did to me.”

The victim said she chose not to come to court to read her impact statement to Ngahau and left that up to the Crown prosecutor.

“It would have been like looking at the face of a devil — and I didn’t have the strength to do that,” she said.

The impact of Ngahau’s abuse was ongoing.

“It never goes away… The thought of having to retell my story to a bunch of strangers in front of Ngahau made me feel extremely anxious. I’m so relieved he pleaded guilty,” she said.