Survive High-Risk Times With Narcissists

High conflict people (HCPs) have a pattern of getting stuck in conflict and increasing conflict, rather than reducing or resolving conflict. They tend to repeat and repeat their pattern, somewhat regardless of the circumstances and consequences. This pattern usually includes the following, which is often obvious to others, but not to themselves:

  • A preoccupation with blaming others
  • All-or-nothing solutions
  • Unmanaged emotions
  • Extreme behaviors

They lack awareness of this pattern and their negative impact on others, so that giving them negative feedback tends to increase their negative behavior (including intensely blaming the person who gave them the feedback) rather than leading to insight. For this reason, it’s important NOT to tell someone that you think he or she is a high-conflict person. (For methods of handling them that don’t rely on negative feedback, see the book: It’s All Your Fault: 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything, Eddy.)

HCPs tend to get stuck in this pattern and regularly engage in their extreme behavior when things don’t go well for them — especially in their high-expectation relationships.