Believing without blaming.
It’s crucial to recognize that many of the things commonly said to male sexual assault survivors are things that we should probably never say.
Charlie, 66, from Boston, said victim blaming, accidental or otherwise, commonly crops up for male survivors.
“Were you drunk? Were you on drugs? Were you flirting with her the night before?” are some of the irrelevant questions that may shift the accountability away from the perpetrator. Expressing disbelief may be an act of sympathy, but this common reaction makes disclosure particularly difficult for survivors. It can even belittle what they’ve experienced.
Jeff, 51, from Indiana, told Mic via email that some people have refused to believe what happened and respond with a blunt: “No you weren’t.” Jeff was told that the priest who sexually assaulted him “would never do that. He’s a good man, and a priest too.”In some cases, the perpetrator is not someone who you would expect. It could even be someone you respect, which could make it difficult to listen to the survivor’s account of what happened.