TCs often invest heavily in people – even those who are pretty self-absorbed – because they believe that the 1 or 2 or 5% of the person that seems really wonderful is the “real person.”
Relatedly, TCs believe that if they are patient and caring enough, that the tiny percentage will grow to balance out or change the 95% of the self-absorbed person (that actually doesn’t want to change).
It’s human nature for people to view others’ motivations, emotions, and intentions through a personal lens; TCs assume that others must share a similar code of conduct. Thus, they often don’t see the motivations of self-absorbed people through an accurate lens.
It’s challenging for Tireless Caregivers to accept that they cannot “heal” another’s narcissism simply by loving and nurturing them, becoming more pleasing to them, being patient enough, and so forth.